Thursday, 22 March 2012

Dark Tide trailer: will Halle Berry sink or swim?

Dark Tide trailer: will Halle Berry sink or swim?

The Oscar winner will have to act her socks off to get noticed in John Stockwell's shark and seal-infested adventure. Could her bikini save her? Find out here

John Stockwell might be best known for playing Cougar in Top Gun, but he's carved out a secondary career as a director of very specialist films. It was Stockwell who brought us Blue Crush, the film where Kate Bosworth wore a bikini and splashed around in the sea. He also brought us Into the Blue, the film where Jessica Alba wore a bikini and splashed around in the sea.
But John Stockwell's newest film is something of a departure. It's Dark Tide, a film where Halle Berry wears a bikini and splashes around in the sea – but it doesn't have the word "blue" in the title. But what does Dark Tide have to offer us? And what actually happens in it? Let's see what the Dark Tide trailer has to say.
Dark Tide trailer 11) Here's Halle Berry several years ago. Before James Bond. Before Monster's Ball. She's running a diving company off the coast of South Africa and things couldn't be going any better. Why look, she's just about to take a lucky customer down for the dive of his life. This might be tempting fate a little, but I'm confident that nothing could possibly go wrong.
Dark Tide trailer 22) Unless of course one of the divers gets eaten by a shark. Which is what happens. Distraught, and haunted by the memory of some guy getting his head chewed off, Halle Berry decides to give up the shark-diving business for good and head to Hollywood to make her name in the movie business.
Dark Tide trailer 33) Fast forward a decade or so and everything's gone wrong again. Whatever goodwill Halle Berry earned by winning her Oscar for Monster's Ball has gradually been eroded by a series of disappointing film choices. Eventually, she has to accept the inevitable. A shady businessman offers her a life-changing proposition – he'll give her a pile of money, but with a condition. Not only must she go back on her promise never to shark-dive again, but she has to make a film about it. Reluctantly, Halle Berry agrees.
Dark Tide trailer 44) At first, it all goes well. Halle even convinces the businessman to write her into the script as a kind of shark whisperer – a woman so spiritually attuned to the ocean that she can pacify sharks just by gazing at them with her big brown eyes. The Academy loves this sort of thing. Maybe if there's an evocative enough score to accompany scenes like this, she might be able to resuscitate her acting career for good.
Dark Tide trailer 55) However, there's a chance that all of Halle's acting and profound facial expression might be undone by the footage of the sharks. Look at this one, arcing through the air as it snatches its prey from the watery depths. In a film like this, the brutal majesty of the sharks are always going to receive top billing. If Halle Berry wants to be noticed in this movie, she's going to have to act her socks off.
Dark Tide trailer 66) Or, you know, she could just slowly unzip herself out of a wetsuit while a large caption reminds everyone that she won an Oscar once. That's more or less the same as acting, right?
Dark Tide trailer 77) And now even the seals are sticking their noses in. It's one thing to compete for top billing with a cold, dead-eyed shark – but with a seal? With an adorably inquisitive seal? Halle Berry's looking at third billing at this rate. At least Olivier Martinez is also in this film, otherwise she might find herself dead last. Agreeing to make Dark Tide was the worst career move she could have ever made. Time for something drastic.
Dark Tide trailer 88) Halle Berry locks herself in a metal cage and throws herself overboard. It was either that or make Catwoman 2, and a woman's got to have some dignity.

1 comment:

  1. dear gawd that's a horrible review of DT.Halle better find a way to resolve her baby daddy issue pronto and get back to acting school and change agent,manager but do something about those horseshit roles.It's been 10 years now and she hasn't shown why she won the Oscars.Folks have been calling her a fluke for years now and I don't want to buy into that fluke shit but she is making it difficult to defend her with those crappy roles she goes for.

    There comes a time when you don't want to "challenge" yourself going after a goddamn shark but you fucking go to battle for great roles and she hasn't done that and that's a fact unfortunately